On The House

On the house! (On the house!)
On-on-on the house! (Hey!)
You heard Vegas is dead? Come on in.

Five hours in a middle seat, I saw you rub your neck in line
So I walked right past the velvet rope. You're the one I came to find
Here's a water, ice cold. The tag says zero. Go ahead
The price you saw is the price. No fee at the end
Your bag's upstairs, your room is ready, and your name is on the door
And here's a little red chip. Don't bet it. That one's yours

Every other host goes "Hey there, boss!" (Hey, boss!)
Finger guns, a mint, "Great to see you, Kevin!" (Who's Kevin?)
They only learn your name after you've lost (Ouch!)
I knew it at the gate
So put your wallet away—

On the house! (On the house!)
The fee, the water, the valet: on the house
You came here to play, so I'll handle the rest
On the house! (On the house!) Ay, you're my favorite guest
On-on-on the house!

Pool at noon, and your song comes on the second you walk by
Dinner at eight, your drink is waiting: margarita, no salt, no ice
Craps at ten, the table's hot, a stranger's yelling out your name
Pool, dinner, craps, the show. Somehow I'm at every game
Midnight show, the lights go down, the spotlight finds your seat
I pull you up on stage with me, and the whole room's on its feet

Every other host says "Have a great night!" (Great night!)
Then they count your chips under the light (Count 'em!)
I don't count your chips. I count your smiles (Smiles!)
And it's ninety-eight and climbing
So put your wallet away—

On the house! (On the house!)
Your song, your seat, your drink: on the house
You came here to play, and look at you now
On the house! (On the house!) Ay, the whole room's yelling "Wow!"
On-on-on the house!

It's three a.m. You're up. You want one more
I put my hand on yours. Hey. Remember what you came for
You came here for a story, not a scoreboard
Cash out, come up to the roof. The best part isn't over
Trust me.

On the house! (On the house!)
The roof, the light show, the sunrise: on the house
You came here to play, and you're leaving with more
On the house! (On the house!) Ay, this is what I'm for
On-on-on the house! (On the house!)
On-on-on the house!

Red chip still in your pocket? Good. You never needed it.
Vegas is dead? Tell them you were here. See you next—